Why Birthday cards? The argument goes something like this: In England, people are not overly fond of talking to each other at any deep level, so the more that the function can be offloaded to some other means, the better.
Whether true or not, British people send more cards than do people anywhere else in the world. And by a good margin. Plus, the digital onslaught has not ended the dominance of paper cards. The fact is that birthday cards are a fixed part of the cultural life of Britain. And there is no sign of it changing anytime soon.
So asking the question whether birthday cards are necessary, is like asking whether teacups are necessary. On the one hand, no they are not. We can use mugs, and nowadays most people (I would guess) have ditched their teacups. And the saucers.
Tradition
But for those people who use teacups, then they are necessary because of all kinds of psychological reasons. Ask a person why, and they might say it is what we have always done, or it’s a tradition. They might bring in Royalty or the Empire. Underneath it all there is that great bonding mechanism of social validation and bonding. When I send a birthday card it is pretty much guaranteed that I am going to send it to someone who will appreciate it, and that means a two-way relationship and a sense of belonging.
I already mentioned how the British (perhaps just the English) repress their feelings. So selecting a card and sending it (and writing the message in the card) is an outlet for emotions that don’t necessarily do so well in conversation. To put it another way, a card is a fairly safe way of expressing sentiment without straying too far from one’s comfort zone.
Keeping Relationships Going
Beyond bonding, connecting, and a sense of belonging there is this. It is the often forgotten matter of maintaining a relationship. You can imagine the slippery slope of missing one birthday and then finding it that much easier to miss the next, and the one after that. And so it goes.
If the worst comes to the worst we have a birthday card for late good wishes. It uses the typical avoidance tactic of saying it was someone else’s fault entirely. It reads “I am happy to advise that the minister has completed her review of late Birthday cards. Please rest assured that lessons have been learned. This wholly regrettable incident of a somewhat marginally delayed birthday card will not happen again.”
Pass the buck, and avoid saying that we have learned lessons. That’s the way to get around it. No one will spot the sleight of hand. That’s what politicians do, isn’t it?
Ah, a little humour to distract and blindside the recipient into thinking that you would never ever forget a birthday. You will find that card here in the birthday card category.
But if you miss one birthday, you are in danger of letting the whole relationship crumble. Just remember that it is easily remedied. Sending a birthday card is a way of fostering and nurturing essential human connections. It shows that one values the relationship enough to engage in this customary act of thinking of others.
How To Write A Birthday Card
Actually, are you one of those for whom even writing the message can be a trial? If that is you then we have the solution, or a solution. We put together a guide to how to write a birthday card, complete with a few tried and tested phrases to use. Now never again need a birthday card hold any terror for you.
Wrapping It Up
Birthday cards are wedded into the fabric of our society. The act of giving and receiving gives social validation and fosters connection. They are a way of expressing emotion that is comparatively risk free. And they foster reciprocity and gratitude, sorely needed in this society riven by identity politics and the chasms between people of differing thoughts and opinions.